Relationship Advice On When to Break Up

As the saying goes “nothing lasts forever”, even a good relationship has also come to an end. Maybe you have past relationship experiences when your heart was broken into shattered pieces when you broke up with someone you love. Feelings of resentment, anger, and guilt overflow that you end up sour grasping for some time.

However, if you are in a situation when there is no finality yet about that break-up thing, maybe you should go over with some details before you put an end to your relationship. You should know when you still have to keep holding on and know when it is the time to let go. So, here are the things you have to do before giving your final decision in breaking up.

Write a list of good things about your partner

Start looking on the positive side of your significant other, rather than counting all his/her flaws. In the first place, know what features and characteristics of him/her that made you fall in love. Think of happy memories you have been together. Same values, hobbies, and likes you are fond of sharing. Or if you fall for that person because he or she is your total opposite, then think of what made your blissful relationship works. There must be something that you can write; otherwise, there must be something wrong with you. Because no matter how bad the things you have been going through, there will always be happy memories you can keep and cherish.

Ask yourself a thousand times if she or he is the one for you

Can your partner make you happy, as in thrilled? Does she or he give you the chance to grow? Did you feel taken for granted or the relationship is only a one-way street? Can you see yourself growing old with that person? Is your partner the one you are comfortable to be with when the magic of romance is fading, when you get older, and yet the love remains? If you are still unsure of how to answer these questions because you are still in the denial stage, then go to the following advice.

Consult your family and closes friends

Get out of your shell and seek for the advice of those people who witnessed your ups and downs while you were in your relationship. First and foremost, they can honestly tell you if you are still in the right frame of mind or already blinded with your fantasy. Yet it is still you who will have to decide for yourself. Make sure you are mature to withstand your decision; otherwise, even those who love you so dearly may tire of listening to all your anguish and pain with your never-ending sad love stories.

Give yourself some time before the decision making

Maybe what you need is time. You can ask for a cool-off period to sort things out. You cannot draw the right decision if you are not well. Go to the spa, read books, watch movies alone, visit your church, have a vacation, eat in your favourite restaurant, and do whatever makes you happy. It would be better if you can go somewhere else and not your usual love rendezvous. Be kind to yourself, and when you are mentally, spiritually, psychologically, and a bit emotionally okay, then it is the time for you to decide.

When to Break Up?

If we would generalize, you can end a relationship if both of you are wasted and nothing to give to each other. To be more specific, here are the reasons why you should let go of your partner.

You have to let go of a relationship when you are suffering from constant verbal and physical abuse. You cannot hurt someone you love that way even if you are in the peak of your emotions. You cannot justify that grave mistakes because one of you have done something stupid that would hurt the other one’s ego. If that once happened, maybe that is forgivable. But if the abuse becomes habitual and you are like a punching bag already, then why not end it before it is too late. Too late for you to fix yourself because you are too fallen apart. You may be needing professional help to guide you accordingly to your problem because it is too profound and complicated to handle.

You have to end a relationship when you feel that you are totally, as in totally incompatible in lots of ways. That is the main reason for break-ups. If you love him the way he is, so be it. But do not complain because your values, your interests and even your needs are unbelievably different from your partner. Of course, you have to sort out if those differences are irreconcilable. If you can still meet halfway, then go for another chance. Nevertheless, if one cannot make little sacrifices and adjustments, then maybe it’s the end of everything.

You have to let go of a relationship if your partner continues to lie about petty things to significant events of his/her life. Trust once broken can never be reconstructed again in the same essence- true and not so true. It may depend on the grave of the lies made and the intention of your partner. We are always capable of rebuilding the once lost trust because we have so much love to give. Hence, if you become tired to find out those piles of lies, then maybe there is something wrong with the quality of your communication and openness to each other. Love must go both ways; same thing goes with revealing your skeletons to your partner.

As the song goes “there’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart”, breaking up will never be easier for both couples who have been trying to survive the relationship. If the love is worth fighting for, then do not have second thoughts to hold on with your partner. Otherwise, if you have done everything, but it did not work out the way you wanted it to, then let go. Keep yourself intact with your faith, and sooner, you will find out why a beautiful love story has ended that way. When the time comes that you know the reason already, then you will smile because that love happened to make you even a better person.