Everyone is quick to offer advice, even though they may be complete failures at every love relationship they have been in. They have the experience, and they feel the urge to share their feelings with friends who need help.
Although they may have the friend’s best interest at heart, they could easily undermine that relationship because of the way they perceive the problems. If you want to save a relationship, your advice must come from a good source a person who has enough experiences with relationships, but also can take a few steps back, and be unbiased.
As easy as this may sound, it can be challenging for most people, including some marriage counsellors who can’t hold themselves back and often lead their patients toward separation. If two people want to work things out, they can. That’s the bottom line!
What it takes is restraint, respect, forgiveness, and some soul searching, or simply put–a lot of effort. No one says it will be easy, but nothing worthwhile in this world is easy. If there is no challenge or work involved, whatever goal will go unappreciated and taken for granted.
Relationships can break down for any reason, but they can be mended, even with infidelity. Infidelity is difficult because a partner feels betrayed, and rightfully so, in most cases.
However, it is important to be fair about spousal infidelity, in that withholding sex may lead to extramarital affairs, for men and women alike. Couples must have sex; otherwise they are roommates with a mortgage, and sometimes, children. Sure, there are lots of hurdles, difficulties, and it may tire you, but sex is crucial in a loving relationship.
Having sex with a partner, you don’t like, can make someone want to vomit. That’s why conversation is a top priority with couples.
They must be able to spend time together and talk about their days, family issues, plans, and so on. In a relationship, you are supposed to be “as one,” so to speak, and that means sharing and moving in the same direction–toward a common goal.
When everything is out in the open, it is easy to stay focused and be on the same side. This is the foundation for a strong, loving relationship. Talking brings you closer, and feeling connected allows for a physical connection, too.
As time passes, we fall out of love and enter the stage in a relationship where we love but are not “in love,” and many take their partners for granted. The few minutes of morning cuddling fade away entirely over time, ; sex becomes a weekly, bi-weekly or monthly event; television viewing increases; and boredom sets in. Eventually, anything or anyone that brings even the slightest excitement is allowed in, further driving the two apart.
Before this happens, you need to step in and make things right.
1. Make the dinner table more inviting to promote conversation.
2. Set the alarm a few minutes early and spend time in your partner’s arms.
3. Welcome your partner when he/she arrives at home with a kiss and a hug, instead of ignoring their return. It makes them feel welcomed and will create a better atmosphere.
4. Turn off the TV and turn on the radio or your favourite CD, pour both of you a drink, and “hang out together.”
5. Go out on dates together, without others. Being together outside the home, on a one-on-one basis, will make you both feel more alive.
Spending quality time will help you build a stronger bond. It may even revive the flame, reminding you of why you are together at all. This new sense of closeness can improve or save your sex life, helping to breathe new life into it.
Again, sex is of great importance in a relationship, and this fact should never be forgotten. Indeed, this is excellent advice when the flame has just grown faint, but it can be more trying when serious problems have infiltrated the relationship, such as infidelity.
It may be tough to overcome feelings of betrayal and thoughts of your partner in the arms of another, which could make it almost impossible to even think of sleeping in the same bed, let alone have sex. What led to the partner’s infidelity must be thoroughly discussed in a mature tone, without yelling or name-calling.
Sometimes, couples therapy is the best way to go because a trained therapist can help partners discover the root of their problems and work them out, whereby it could be impossible for a troubled couple to do it out alone. The therapist can ask all the right questions, and acts as a mediator, allowing each partner to express him/her self on every point, without interruption.
Infidelity is not the only serious problem that can come between lovers, as one’s attitude toward the other can be just as harmful. It isn’t uncommon for one partner to be condescending or critical of his/her other half. All this negativity sets in and starts to turn one against the other. In the end, it just becomes unhealthy, building tension and tearing the couple apart.
Respect is imperative, and that means allowing your other half to express him/herself, handle a situation, or what have you, as an adult. Everyone can make a mistake, including you!
Judging your partner harshly with every move he/she makes can lead to the demise of your relationship, as well as cause your partner severe mental and emotional health problems.
Whatever your problems, they can be resolved. Some sound advice is to look back on your relationship. Think of how much fun you had together, the adventures you experienced, and so on.
All these positive thoughts will breed newer ones and enable you to see your partner as you did when you wanted to be with him/her for the rest of your life. For some, it may be difficult to do this mentally, so pull out your photo albums and videos, and relive those moments.
You’ll probably ask yourself where it all went wrong, but you might find the answers deep inside you, and you just might feel so good that you’ll want to try harder to salvage what you had and bring it back. Few couples keep the flame burning and love each other so deeply throughout time because they don’t allow problems, other people, or their arrogance to interfere in their relationships. If you aren’t one of these couples, you can be, with an honest effort.